“College will be the best time of your life” is what I have heard from a very young age. For as long as I can remember, college has been painted as the pivotal point in one's life where everything falls into place. Where you discover who you are and what you want to be. Where you gain the freedom to discover your identity, and where you get to make mistakes, but most importantly, learn from them.
When I finally arrived at the University of New Mexico's campus, I soon realized that it wasn't like the effortless movies. There were no riff-offs like in Pitch Perfect, no overwhelming feeling of belonging like there was in Acceptance, and no sudden “Elle Woods moment” of walking into class with unshakable confidence like in Legally Blonde. Instead, I was faced with the reality of balancing being a full-time student, working several jobs, and trying to build a sense of belonging on a campus with over twenty thousand individuals. Many movies highlight spring break trips and frat parties; however, many UNM students are commuters, parents, first-generation college students, or individuals working several jobs. This raises my question: Is the college experience we are told a lie, or is it different for every person?
Growing up, I always heard that college would be the place I would meet my closest friends, join exciting clubs and organizations, and figure out what I want to do with my future. Many adults talked about how this would be “the best four years of your life,” while the media only reinforced this idea. I also come from a multigenerational family of Lobo alums who could only further push the idea that UNM would be a life-changing experience.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are certainly times that live up to those expectations. For example, when you walk through the Duck Pound, with greenery and a gentle breeze surrounding you, it can begin to feel like you're in a slow movie montage. Or a college game day where the morning is spent tailgating and laughing with your friends, where you finally start to feel like you belong in the crazy world of college. Even the quiet hum of the old Zimmerman Library has its unique charm, where one can spend countless hours studying and still second-guess every question on the test. Now these handful of moments do certainly feel like the college we are all promised, the memories we will one day look back on and say, “those were the best four years of my life.”
Now let's address the biggest shock of college, no, it is not the classes – it's the balancing act. Many students, both undergraduates and graduates alike, are faced with juggling the never-ending amount of coursework and jobs. For me, this means heading into work at 5:30 in the morning on some days, then going straight to class, then attending my internship, all while still trying to manage my extracurriculars. Instead of spending evenings at fraternities or football games like the movies show, many students, including me, spend their nights at the library, the SUB, or working another shift.
Now let's move on to another big topic of college that gets easily overlooked and rarely talked about when you are a senior in high school, trying to figure out your life, finances! Although New Mexico residents may be able to lessen their financial burden by attending an in-state college/university and automatically receiving the Opportunity and Lottery Scholarship to cover tuition, many other costs go into a higher education. For example, room and board, a meal plan, parking passes, textbooks, and other course materials. Even with scholarships, many students feel the strain of rising costs. According to UNM’s Financial Aid Office, nearly 70% of undergraduates rely on some form of aid to cover the cost of tuition, housing, and books. On top of that, the national student loan debt crisis continues to grow—currently sitting at more than $1.7 trillion nationwide (Federal Reserve, 2024). This economic pressure often forces students to live at home or commute, which can make it harder to feel like they’re part of the traditional “college experience.”
Another aspect of college that is not widely spoken about is mental health. The American College Health Association reports that more than 75% of students experience moderate to severe stress in a typical semester. Although UNM has many great resources, such as the Student Health and Counseling (SHAC) office, TimelyCare, and LoboRespect available to students, certain stigmas and busy schedules sometimes make it difficult to seek help. Never forget you are not alone, and follow this link (https://mentalhealth.unm.edu/) to get you or your friend the help they need.
Loneliness is also common. The narrative of “finding your people” in college ignores how difficult it can be to make friends in large lecture halls or while commuting to and from campus. For me specifically, I sometimes have a feeling like I am missing out on something because I am not staying in the dorms. For example, I don’t get random interactions in the hallways or late-night moments with roommates.
So, is college a lie? Not exactly. Instead, the problem lies in the unrealistic expectations we are given before we ever set foot on campus by the media and those who came before us. College is not easy. It is challenging. College requires resilience, adaptability, and self-discovery through trial and error over time.
At UNM, the reality of college may not look like the movies, but it carries its own unique value. It’s long nights, early mornings, deadlines, responsibilities, and growth. It’s less like a movie montage and more like a slow, sometimes difficult process of shaping who you are. So instead of thinking about it as a movie, begin to think about it as a long coming-of-age series.
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